Hey again! (k i srsly dont know how to use blogger or anything related to blogs)

welcome to 2016 and it's hustle and bustle! You know what, let's just go straight to the point, I actually don't know what i should write about but the sudden urge to write something suddenly appears so yeah...

I don't know what happened, is it the academic level too high or i'm too, you know i wouldn't say stupid but maybe left out is the right word?, or I needed more time, i don't know but I was always on the average level.

You know when everyone is just so smart, geniuses around you, all with the brain of einstein, i feel so.....tiny.

What i learnt from my three months being a form 5 is that i should 'pandai curi masa'. like even if you have like 5 minutes to go to the dining hall, you should use it to revise your studies. I mean, my schedule is very packed.

7.30 to 3.25 is pdp and then extra class from 3.30 to 4.45 and i barely have like 1 and a half hour for personal activities and sometimes if there's a class at night we had it at 8 till 9 and continue with our prep class until 11. By the time i came back i was already worn out. sometimes i couldnt complete my homework due to revisions or vice versa so i had to stay up till 1-1.30 and wake up at 5.30.

Anyway, what made me 'get a grip of myself' was when my mom said that she wanted to send me to england. at first, i thought it was absurd. i mean, me, england? yeah i wanted to go to england but after the march test, i lost all my hope. you see, i am very meticulous. even the slightest mistake i made i would think far like 'i cant even answer this question, how should i go to england?' you know that kind of mindset

i like the phrase 'practice makes perfect'. my physics teacher always repeat it in class. oh and 'siapa yg usaha, dia berjaya'. so now i wanted to believe in myself that nothing is impossible, that i can and will stand on the stage to receive my spm results.

even though i showed low performance during last year's finals, i'd like to challenge myself to a xiaolin showdown...no k not funny farah a, i'd like to challenge myself to fight the demons in me. because without the right mindset, you just simply cant do anything.

what i'd like to highlight here is that believe in yourself, everything starts with you. you change because you choose to change. sure you can spend millions on counselling and motivational activities, but it would be a waste if you, yourself, are stubborn; not wanting to change you and your mindset.

so instead of saying "face it, i'm stupid i can't even answer add math's function, i'll just work at some supermarket", you should say "i'm going to prove to everyone and me that i can and i will, i will prove to them that i can get biasiswa nasional' because everything starts from you.

Mino (Winner) said that "..but enemy was in the mirror" in Fear, show me the money 4. he said that he should change himself and bla bla bla. it is a very nice song (well to me) because the lyrics are about him fighting himself.

and also michael jackson's man in the mirror.

and also ikon's climax

hahahahah i' talking nonsense again. bye